Featured Writer: Emma Tourtelot
On creating space to write and writing advice.
Welcome to Women Writing! It’s my great pleasure to feature author Emma Tourtelot in today’s issue of Women Writing.
About the author…
Emma Tourtelot is the author of the novel No One You Know (January 2026, She Writes Press). She is also the co-author of eight books about sex and relationships, as one half of the celebrated sex advice duo Em & Lo, and co-creator of Nerve Personals. Time magazine called her first book, “This generation’s smarter, funnier, and raunchier version of The Joy of Sex.” After being a sex advice writer for almost two decades, Emma is now a middle school librarian in the Hudson Valley, which turns out to be a lot more controversial than her first career.
On a writing routine …
It’s changed a lot over the years, but it’s always been about finding spaces at the edges of the day, given that I have two children and a full-time job (as a school librarian). When my kids were younger, I would write after they went to bed, plus I always had my laptop with me for small pockets of downtime, like sitting in the parking lot while one of them had soccer practice or piano. Now they’re teenagers and they sleep way later than I do, so my best writing time is early mornings on the weekends. If I get up at six, I can sometimes get four hours of writing time before either of them wakes up. Plus, they both have a lot of homework these days, so I’ll often sit in the room with them and write while they do their own work.
On writing spaces …
My favorite place to write is a huge yellow armchair in our living room (my family calls it the golden throne) but really, I can write anywhere. I didn’t start writing fiction until after I had kids, so I never got to be precious about how and when I do it. I can write in a coffee shop, in my car, in the kitchen. I’m writing this from the middle seat on a cramped plane! One time I even wrote during a kids’ birthday party at one of those noisy little kid gyms. I’m sure the other moms thought I was a little standoffish, but these are the trade-offs we make.
On writing communities …
I’m currently in a Zoom writing group with some other authors. We log on twice a week and write for two hours. Some people keep their cameras on, but I turn mine off because I’m sure I make weird faces when I write. We don’t share our writing with each other, we just chat for a few minutes about what we’re working on. It’s more about accountability. And it really works! Something even simpler I tried that worked, too: A few years back I was really stuck. I hadn’t written anything new in about a year, and I was terrified I’d never write again. So a friend and I started a spreadsheet together, and every day we filled out a new row, recording how many minutes we wrote for. We committed to at least five minutes a day, because you can always find five minutes. I’m really bad at free writing—I’ve never done morning pages, I just can’t bear to put unfiltered thoughts down on the page—but you can do anything for five minutes, I figured. I knew my friend was counting on me to fill out a row each day (if I skipped a day, it let her off the hook), so I forced myself to do it. And that got me out of my funk.
Just open your manuscript every day, even if you don’t write. Make contact with your writing every day—tweak a sentence, read a paragraph you wrote the day before, anything.
On challenges …
Always, yes! It’s really hard to walk away from my family and just be like, okay, I’m going to write now. That’s why the Zoom writing group helps. It’s just a different mindset: I feel less guilty saying, Hey, sorry I can’t help with dishes, I gotta jump on a Zoom.
On the best writing advice …
I can't remember where I first heard this, but I'm constantly reading my work out loud. Not just when I'm editing, but as I write, too, especially if I'm stuck on a sentence. The rhythm of a sentence is so important to me, and I need to hear it out loud to get it right. When I'm around other people I try to do this softly, under my breath, which my daughter refers to as "bibbling." She’ll be like, “Can you please bibble in another room?”
My other favorite piece of advice is this: When someone critiques your writing, you should pay attention to the fact that something’s not working, but you can (and probably should) ignore their suggestion for exactly how to fix it.
On the worst writing advice …
No bad advice, just lots of rejection letters. Those never stop stinging—even (or especially) the really nice ones. Fortunately my mother is always more than happy to remind me how many times J.K. Rowling got rejected before she was published. (Twelve, in case you’re wondering—I’ve got her beat many times over.)
On advice from personal experiences …
Just open your manuscript every day, even if you don't write. Make contact with your writing every day—tweak a sentence, read a paragraph you wrote the day before, anything. When I do this, I find that I kind of exist in the novel's dream state, and ideas come to me at random times. During the times when I’m writing every day, I'm constantly sending myself voice-to-text messages during my commute.
Also, it’s increasingly hard to find places without Wi-Fi (even planes have it now!), so I highly recommend the Freedom app (or anything similar). It’s not a bulletproof method, but it does at least force you to put in a bit of effort if you want to stop writing and doomscroll instead.
On rekindling creativity …
Going somewhere without my phone. This doesn’t necessarily have to be in nature – even just taking a long shower or driving to work helps me. Just turning off the flow of content. When I’m really stuck on something in my book, I force myself to drive to work in silence—no podcast, no music. Raw-dogging it, I guess the kids say? That usually unlocks something for me.
On a recent publication …
No One You Know (January 2026) is a dual-narrative mother-daughter story that Kirkus Reviews calls, “An emotionally honest and captivating story about grief, family, and the stories we tell in this digital age.” It’s a meditation on loss, friendship, poetry, small-town culture wars, and the heartache and joy of being a mom to a teen girl. I’m currently working on my next book, The Noah Project, which is a dystopian novel about the lengths mothers will go to keep their kids safe.
Emma’s online spaces …
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Happy writing!
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Thanks so much for having me, Liisa! I loved chatting with you about all things writing. x
Love Emma and loved this. I’ve also written at those huge loud play gyms. It honestly the only way I can get through the stimulation.