Hello all,
Welcome to the 19th edition of Women Writing! We finally had a dump of snow last week in Northern Ontario and I’m thrilled about it because I’m headed to Huntsville, Ontario for Rekindle Creativity Women’s Writing Retreat in Muskoka with my co-host
and a lovely group of women writers. Retreats are an amazing way to create time and space for writing, meet like-minded individuals focussed on the craft, and spend time recharging. It promises to be a magical time in beautiful Muskoka. I’ll be sure to take lots of photos of our time together.This week I turn the spotlight on Murgatroyd Monaghan. I hope you enjoy learning about her experiences as writer and get some inspiration for your own writing journey.
About the author…
Murgatroyd Monaghan is a writer, poet and spoken word artist of mixed descent residing in Ontario.
“Find people who love your writing, and find people who love you and whose writing you love. There's your community.”
On a writing routine …
I experience ebbs and flows of creativity and productivity. When I write an essay or a short story or a poem, I write it all in one burst, even if that means not sleeping or stopping to eat! In the past, I've tried to force myself into daily disciplines that some writing gurus or coaches suggest, such as carving out specific writing times or sticking to word counts or daily habits, but it hampers my creativity and negatively affects my mental health. The writing I get down out of habit or force is almost always dull and it costs me energy that I could be spending elsewhere. When an idea hits, it hits, and I run with it. My stories come to me with an urgency that feels like an impending birth. Once the idea is imminent, it causes me discomfort to ignore it or stop before it has been 'birthed' fully, so to speak. My mood and energy come in ebbs and flows, after all, so it makes sense that my writing would do the same. It lends an authenticity to my work. I've learned to work with my brain and body rather than trying to force it into a routine that doesn't come naturally. Of course, sometimes, the ideas don't come, and I won't write anything new for weeks or even months. During those times, rather than forcing myself to write new content, I will work on editing my pieces, compiling them into collections, or submitting them to contests. And again, rather than "carving out" time to do this, I try to work with my mind and body and do it whenever I feel like it.
I do a lot of work with populations that historically and presently hold a lot of trauma, including intergeneration trauma. For example, I run writing groups with persons who have a history of trauma resulting from interactions with child welfare, including losing custody of their own children to CAS. I also do a lot of writing and poetry/storytelling with drug users and folks in recovery. We always have to address the trauma to be able to write effectively, even when we aren't writing about the trauma itself. Trauma can be a huge writing "block" that can block us at different stages of our writing process. It is something that as women, we are particularly vulnerable to, since our trauma is historically minimized and is still, effectively, categorized as modern forms of "hysteria". This mythical understanding especially affects women who write non-fiction/memoir and poetry, and it is compounded hugely for queer women and WOC (women of colour), especially, where we live, Black and Indigenous women. This minimization of our special needs as writers from both the publishing industry and the general public can be damaging and makes us feel that our words are not valid, or worse, that perhaps WE are the problem - that we ourselves are the reason that we aren't reaching our writing goals. Often this simply is not true. Time and time again I have seen that when we address trauma responses in our bodies prior to and during writing. our writing goals become much more within our reach.
Over time, I've become aware of my own trauma responses that affect how I write. For example, if I am having trouble getting words down and doing nothing at all, or staring at social media or youtube videos for hours on end, it is usually because I am stuck in a "freeze" response. When I am not writing because I am running around convincing myself that every other task in my life is more important, it is often part of a "flight" response. I find that I need to be healthy in body and mind, with a splattering of "fight" and "fawn" to be able to crank out the words. So I do a lot of trauma work before and when I write, and that happens largely in the body. Physical movement, going outside, singing aloud to songs, dancing, and art are all ways that we can interrupt trauma responses in our bodies and get the creative juices flowing again.
On writing spaces …
Well of course, I need tools to be able to sustain writing in the pattern I just mentioned. I'm a single mom of three, and I also work. To make sure that I can always write, I always keep my phone on me, including in my pajama pocket at night. Many times I've had something hit me at 3 am and I pull out my notepad app and type away. If inspiration strikes me at work I run to the bathroom and type type type! Whole book-length collections have been typed out on my phone! My laptop is old and broken and only runs for ten minutes at a time while plugged in precariously and tilted ever so slightly to the left. This is, of course, inconvenient. It used to keep me from writing because I felt like I had to have a good tool to work with before being able to sit down and write, but now I know that you can make writing work in any place, at any time. I doubt I'll be able to afford a new laptop, so I just do what works for me. Also, when I do use the laptop, the workspace is my bed, and it's a happy disaster. It's also the centre of our home. My mattress is on the floor so that it's accessible to all my kids to hop on and off, and they do tons of activities on it. Because of its proximity to the ground (about six inches), the bedside table/nightstand is my entire floor! While not pretty, it's great for my writing projects. I often spread out all my notebooks and pens and books and lists and it helps me get things done. It's not a workplace for some, but for me, it looks like my brain, and it's what I'm comfortable with. My kids are constantly talking to me whilst I write, and sometimes I will accidentally write what they say rather than the next sentence of my prose! These things happen. But I love having the kids in my work environment (for the most part!) and I wouldn't have it any other way.
On writing communities …
I am a member of Canada Writes, which is an online groups dedicated to supporting Canadian writers. I have found my writing community there! I have discovered so many fantastic writers whose careers I love to support, and they support mine. Locally, I try to support all expressions of art, including musicians, visual artists, poets, spoken words artists, writers, journalists, playwrights, filmmakers, actors, dancers, grafitti artists, and so many more. I think that while have writing-specific community is important, really, artists are artists. We do what we do because we have something to say; something the world needs to hear. And so I try to promote as many local artists as I can, and they are super supportive towards me as well. Artists need each other! We help each other think outside the box in our own craft, and we enrich each others' imaginations. Only using other writers for support would be, to me, like only having support from one of my five senses to be able to accomplish my means. I need all the art forms that exist in order to be able to write something that is fully appreciated and expressed and understood to mean what I want it to mean.
On challenges …
I feel like I pre-emptively addressed a few of these potential challenges above. Ultimately, lack of money is huge. There's no way to sugarcoat that. Money would make a big difference! I have to work overnights just to be able to pay rent on our home and most months we barely make it. So of course, things that support my writing are always secondary to providing for my kids/ basic necessities. For example, if I could afford it, I could replace my laptop, and maybe even pay for childcare once in a while (I have no family in this country, so that's often an issue). I see a lot of writing retreats and residencies advertised, and I would never be able to afford one of those, though I've always felt that would be really useful experience; when I'm really inspired and am go-go-going on a project, just to have someone make sure I eat and stay hydrated would be an amazing help! So that would help me so much to make that extra space for writing. Even being able to pay someone to do the things I'm terrible at that eat up my writing time - like creating and maintaining a website for instance - would be helpful. That specific thing is something I'm budgeting for right now, actually. But ultimately, I can't complain, because things like this have made for fantastic fodder for my writing. I can't write about the hilarious and frustrating aspects of single motherhood and poverty (which is what I write about) if I don't live them! So really, these things are just circumstantial, and I think I'm making the best of my situation.
On the best writing advice …
Hmm. I will try to answer that with a couple of stories.
Jonathan Larson spent eight-plus years on a musical that he had a fabulous idea for, and it was a labour of intensity and desperation. Was it brilliant? Yes, it was. But have you ever even heard of ‘Superbia’? Likely not. It’s not really a staple on most writers’ screenplay shelves. Brilliant ideas just aren’t enough to create something legendary. The advice Jonathan Larson received after his release of ‘Superbia’ is the same advice I have found to be true in my own writing: write what you know. Jonathan took that advice and went on to write the entire libretto and every song for ‘Rent’ within months, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what became of it. ‘Rent’ became legendary. ‘Rent’ was a labour of love.
Anishnaabe/Anicinabe peoples have a teaching of Truth. My father was turtle clan, and the turtle means truth. I used to wonder why there was a teaching of Honesty and a teaching of Truth. I asked an elder, isn’t that the same thing? And he told me that Honesty means that I do not lie, that I am open about what I share, that I do not hide. But Truth means that the things I am telling are truly mine to tell. Truth means that I know what I am talking about. This knowledge has been of great value to me. It has encouraged me to live my life, to go out and have more experiences, and also to have no real regrets, because anything I experience in my life becomes my Truth and so it is valuable. As with anything of value, I can choose to keep or to share this. Writing is an important way to share our valuable things with others. Like Jonathan, once I started writing my truth, my writing was easier, and it started becoming more polished and also more meaningful.
Of course, writing what we know makes us vulnerable. At its best, it can feel cathartic. At its worst, it can feel traumatic. Writing is a form of vicarious experiencing, or re-living, and it is excruciatingly emotionally demanding to re-live feelings or experiences that you know. This isn’t to say that we can’t write effectively about something we’ve never experienced. Our writing may take place within the context of a setting or a gender or even a whole Universe that we have no life experience with. But I’ve learned that our writing is most effective when we have the willingness and the vulnerability to re-live certain sensations or experiences and to describe those as we go, no matter the setting or the context. (Which brings me back to trauma responses and caring for ourselves.) What that means is, I may be writing from the perspective of an aged skittles-addicted male protagonist who is also a reptilian mathematician living on Mars, but as my reptilian counterpart goes on his journey, I should write about his experiences – what he senses, the conclusions he comes to, the details he notices - as things that I myself have experienced or felt or seen or understood. In that way, my writing has the best chance of being effective.
On the worst writing advice …
The worst piece of writing advice I receive is maybe non-specific, but would fall within the realm of anything that comes from a very privileged mindset that assumes that I either have a) money, b) time, c) childcare, d) supports/family, d) social skills, or f) a formal education. I have none of those things. So for example if someone suggests that I buy myself something, or take a vacation, or work in a quiet or clean space, or promote my book through public speaking, or anything else, it's unhelpful. Last week, someone suggested I print out my pages and line them up to view them that way. But I don't have a desktop computer or a printer, or easy access to either one. Another person this summer suggested that I do research on an article I was writing by doing something that I felt may get me police attention, but they then insisted that I could just explain it to the friendly officer if I was stopped. It didn't occur to them that if someone who looks like me gets pulled over, we can't just talk our way out of it. The tough thing about advice like this is that the people giving it often mean well, but they have no concept of what it is like to be someone different or live a different way. Where I live in the rural north is fairly non-diverse, and I have yet to meet many writers from marginalized communities who live here, so I have found a lot of solace in my online writing friends, many of whom face similar challenges and so are able to offer solutions that are more likely to work for me. I hope to be able to inspire and connect with more local Black, Brown and Indigenous writers here, as well as more unhoused/underhoused writers, single-parent writers, writers who use drugs, and writers from the queer community.
On advice from personal experiences …
I think the most important thing is not to worry if you don't fit into a certain mold. Find people who love your writing, and find people who love you and whose writing you love. There's your community. Write about what you believe in, and write with your own voice. You know, grammar is dead. Structure is dead. Spelling is dead. It's all dead. Nearly everything you can learn through a standardized, formal education won't help you stand out in the era we are entering into. We live in a new era, an age of not only experimentalism, but also a return to the traditional, with an emphasis on pre-colonial values. Things like grammar and spelling in our language are largely a colonial construct that was made to be the opposite of intuitive in order to keep lower class and uneducated persons from being able to influence the public sphere. Nowadays, we write in dialect, we write in Creole, we write in language dat make sense for how we say ting-ting, we write in anywaywewanttosowecanconvey a POINT, we code switch et change la langue, we do it all. Read Ian Williams, read Bukowski, read ee cummings. The boring days where we didn't start a sentence with But or And is dead. Express yourself. Language is yours to play with as a writer, and no one can tell you what is right or wrong. Find a literary journal that appreciates your unique voice. The direction we are going in terms of literature is non-linear. Try something new, that feels good.
Murgatroyd’s online spaces …
Find stories in the latest editions of Freefall and Chapter House Journal
Poetry Collection: For Soldiers and Sailors Alike: Poems on the Familiar War on Womanhood
I help women educators rekindle their passion for writing and craft powerful women-centred novels. Teachers and other education professional have extremely busy and stressful careers. I know what it’s like to juggle the demands of the profession, family life, and other commitments. But it is possible to find time and space to write. And I believe writing can make you a more effective teacher with more energy to devote to other areas of your life.
If you want to rekindle your passion for writing, join me in April for a three month program designed to get your story started. Visit www.liisakovalabookcoach to learn more or contact me to get on the waiting list. But first, download a free copy of my workbook, Beyond the Blackboard: Empowering Teachers to Write Fiction.
Happy writing!
Women Writing is a weekly newsletter featuring women who are doing the difficult work of writing. If you enjoyed reading the newsletter, please share it with a fellow writer. Let’s inspire each other!